Whats the purpose of all this?

What in the world is going on. I have realized that I have been going through life caring about what people think about me. I was brought up to believe that a person's impression of you means everything... or does it? I go throughout my day trying to please people and make them think the best of me. But what does it get me? Ridiculed and trampled over. I can honestly say that I am a nice person. I give beyond my means to any and everyone. BUT!!! When time comes for someone to give back to me, I get the whole " Well I can't cause... or I would but... or even No!!!" So with this being said, I have changed my whole approach to human relations, lol. I am gonna feed people with a long handled spoon from now on. Especially given the turn of events that has taken place. I am about to be in a situation where i will be well taken care of financially and I can feel the shadows starting to shift like the ghouls on the movie Ghosts when they were coming to take niggas away lol. Only difference is, aint no ghouls bout to haul this nigga away no more. im sick of being taken advantage of. People say and do anything they want to me because they know I don't hold grudges and I am oh so super nice. That has been my weakness... And i can't blame people for taking what they can get out of me. So from now on, it gonna be different. Like Sam Cook says, Change gon' come!!!

Now to address some things that have been on my mind lately. Why do people do onto others as they DO NOT want others to do onto them. What gives a person the right to treat someone like shit and they wanna be respected? AND THEN!!! When a person has been talked to so badly and treated so badly for so long and they start to dish shit back out, everyone thinks they are changing, or that they are not fun to be around anymore. Stop treating folks like dogs so you wont have to worry bout them biting your ass back!!!

Another thing, what the hell happened to chivalry? Where the hell did it go? Did I miss the Chivalry boat or something. Folks are mean as hell! Me and THARULA went to Wendy's the other day and the lady went bonkers!!! Some guy was placing his order and the cashier was being all fast on the register and ringing shit up before the dude finished saying his order. So he finished saying his piece and the lady grabs her head with BOTH HANDS and say all loud " YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT AT FIRST!!!" I mean she was distraugt about it too. Like her day was gonna be fucked from that point on. Oh well, she should stop being a dumb ass and wait for someon to stop talking before she starts typing. I recommend she reads this book...

It's been a minute

I know it has been a while since I hit you guys off with a post. There is perfectly good reason for it too, but that is something that I will keep to myself. I guess its no harm in doing one every other polka dotted moon. So here goes...

Today was a day that will live in infamy. It actually started last night at around 11:30pm. Every Staurday I go to my mom's house so that I can attend church on Sunday mornings. She lives about an hour to an hour and a half away from me so I figure it would be best to spend the night there so I dont have to get up all early and rush to get ready. So this is the deal. I just recently came back from Florida where I was working for a while. I wrecked my car before I left so that left me with no transportation in Va. So I figured that the smart move would be to take my last check and buy me a hoopty to get me around so I can take my bf to work and, we can go grocery shopping and stuff, and also so that I could get out and find me a job here in Virginia. (sidebar- luckily I was smart and decided to apply for a job in walking distance in case of emergencies) Anyway, Yesterday (saturday) I ended up getting the job around the corner(Yay me!) So I'm syked! Im stoked as hell! Telling my boyfriend how happy I was, and may I mention that he stayed there with me the whole three hours that I was being interviewed. Thats love baby! The day was going great yesterday. Until later that evening we had a slight dispute, but nothing major. THEN! It was time to head to mama's crib. So I gathered my things for church and prepared my coach for departure. After some X's and O's from my boo, I pulled out. I was bobbing my head when I noticed a dinging like something was wrong... Lo and Behold!!! My damn engine was overheating and that lil gauge was red as hell!!! Luckily I was by my friend's house so I stopped by to let the car cool for a while and i checked and topped off my fluids in the mean time. So I sat and rapped a while with my homeboi until I felt my car should have been alright. So's I go outside and try to start 'er on up. But it just cranks and cranks with no results. I lifted the hood and noticed some water running from my air intake. I opened the intake and I could have taken a bath in all the water in hat lil box! I was like DAMN! So I went in the house and decided I was gonna have to let that water drain out before i try going anywhere. And here it is about 1:00 in the morning and ol' boy said he was finna go to bed so he asked me wat i was gonna do. (In other words, keep it cute or keep it moving cuz he aint sittin up no more) So I decided that I would stay there until about 6 am so I can get some sleep and also I was only about 30 minutes away from my mom's house. So I called to check in on the home front and reveal my disposition and got approval. So I went to sleep in the guest room. Forgot to set my doggone alarm on my phone. So here it is 8am and I am rushing to gather myself so I can get on the path. I snuck out and locked the doors and went to my vehicle. I got in and it right up with no trouble. I was like YES!!! So I hit the freeway baby. I was moving to LOL. So I get up the road about 15 minutes and damn if the car aint do the same thing. Only this time I'm in the country and aint nobody around to help and the car is sitting on the side of the road... with me in it!!! LAWDHAMERCY!!! What Imma do now. So I let the car sit to cool down. Meanwhile I get on the horn with my boo and talk. (glad I had a full charge!) So finally the car cools down and I go to start it. NOTHING HAPPENS!!! AAAAARRRGGHH!!!! I kept trying and trying and trying... I sat there from 8:30 til almost 9:30 trying to get this car moving. I called people and kept getting the gas speech. Not to mention church starts at 11am and i have a solo to do! And I need to bathe and brush my teeth and hair. OMG moment right? So After sitting there for an hour and coming to tears and begging the Lord to let my car start it did! So as soon as it did I stepped on the gas and flew off down the road. I was booking for all it was worth but keeping in mind what had been going on. I got about 5 or 10 minutes away from the house (still in the country) and the car cut slam off!!! I was going every bit ot 60 when it happened to. I pulled into a huge driveway because on the country roads there are no shoulders on the side of the road and there is no posted speed limit in the area. So I look under the hood and I notice that my engine is sizzling. All of the old grease that is usually on everbody's engine? Well mine was boiling and bubbling like I was frying fish!!! I was like shit! So I opened the coolant tank and too my surprise it was empty... AGAIN... I topped it off and my engine started drinking it like it was no tomorrow. I heard all kinds of gurgling and clunking... It was mildly funny but surprising at the same time. So I got back in the car and noticed that the gauge had shown a significant temperature decrease. So I go to start it and here we go again dammit! I cranked until the battery started to get weak. So my cousin called me from the church and I looked at the clock. 10:39am!!! Oh man! Imma be late. So she dispatched one of the teenagers to come pick me up since I was only a few mnutes away. When the lil girl got there I tried to get the car started one mo gin. I had her sit in the car while I looked under the hood, then I told her to turn the key. So I hear this loud CLANK! CLANK! Tears roll. My engine has seized up on me. And on top of that, water is pouring from my water pump and from under my intake manifold. Wow! I took my stuff out of the car, took the key and put it on the driver's seat and left a note for whoever found the car. Then I happened to look up and notice that I was sitting in the driveway of the man who owns the local salvage yard... lol how ironic. The reason I knew this is because he came down the driveway and asked me if I had AAA and if I did that when I had my car towed I would recommend his company... NIGGA! Im in tears here! So I left the car, went to mom's bathed and changed and the girl waited for me. I went to church, rocked the house, and got an awesome word... (another story- she compared life to spades and was dead on) We also had a second service today out of town that we sang at again. That went fairly well, they fed us... (what us baptists call a "repass") Then I came home to ma's had Mickey D's and chilled. Then something said to me, "Keith, go and get a quart of oil, put it in your car, and drive it home to your moms." So I got my sister to take me out to my car with the oil. I put it in the engine, turned the key and realized that my engine in fact wasn't seized! Yes Lord. It took a minute but I got the car started and moving. And I drove it to my mom's without hinderance. Until I parked. I putted a lil while it sat in idle in her driveway, but I was obedient and my car is safe at my mom's where someone can access it to repair it. And the reason I put so much effort into this car is because it is a late model vehicle with low miles, its in great shape body and interior wise. It looks really nice for what I paid for it. Of course it needed work and i was prepared for some work, but this is a lot. But honestly, I only paid 625 for the car, so Im surprised it was running this long. And its paid for. So yeah... Imma get 'er fixed up. I call 'er pickles...

Some of these women is crazy!!!

Somebody Advise Me On How To Not Be Wack...

I was doing some soul searching tonight while walking thru the store with my boo. Sometimes the stories he tells me about his past kinda pull at my heart strings a little bit because I can't see him in some of the situations he tells me he has been in. He tells me that I shouldn't feel bad over things that happened in the past and I kinda feel like I shouldn't either. But sometimes it get to be too much when I start to hear the details, and all the different situations. I cant see my boo doing some of those things he tells me he has done. And I guess if he isnt feeling bad about it then why should I get the blues. Everyone has a past right? And I am not his first boyfriend. I dont want him to think I am judging him when I say I feel bad for the things he tells me. I just see him in such a positive light that I dont wanna hear the bad things... Well I do wanna know the bad things, but I guess just not in such vivid detail. I accept him for who he is, I really do... And I know I have to take the bitter with the sweet, and my past isn't pristine. I have a lil tarnish on my past too, but there are certain situations I ust wish he didnt have to be in. I think my problem is, I wanna look at him like he is an angel, but I need to realize that no one is perfect. Not even me. And when he tells me things, he tells me because he wants me to know all aspects of his life. I just can't help feeling the way I do when I hear things about my baby. "I luh he!!!" Y'all tell me what to do...

THAT CRAZY BITCH IS OUT THERE AGAIN!!!

When I last left you all I was telling you about how blue I was after losing the first dude I ever had feelings for. But I got over him after I was subdued by the fimine whiles of a certain latina chica on my ship. This girl used to watch me across the mess decks (cafeteria) and be poking her booty out as she walked past me and stuff. And being that I was in the S-3 Supply division at my command, she would always ask me for little favors, like free stuff from the vending machines and the ship's store. After a while, me and her started becoming a bit friendly. We started hanging out going to the bowling alley, movies, skating rink, the beach... you know lil cute stuff like that. Then we progressed to me letting her meet the fam. (I know y'all thinking like damn, with old boy you and him started off fuckin... you cant do that with the ladies tho, they delicate) Anyway, my mom was digging her (still is), my sister, my dad, everybody thought she was the one! And when we finally did do the grown up, I thought she would be the one too. She had clothes at the crib, we were exchaning gifts and everything. This was gon' be my wifey y'all! (SYKE... DA BITCH WAS CRAZY) It later came out that she had previously dated someone in my division just before she started dating me. Her and him got into it in front of my barbershop one day so I came out and pulled her in my shop and sent old boy on his way. When I turned and looked at her she was in there grabbing up my shit off my counter and cussing in spanish calling me Estupido!!! Huh? What I do tho? She starts screaming about how all the stuff on my counter was hers and that her ex told her that he put it in here for her to get it. I was like please stop tripping... This is my stuff I got receipts. (in case y'all are wondering, it was some apricot scrub, lotions, hand sanitizer, and lil stuff like that...) I was baffled as to why she would believe that I would have somebody else's toiletries displayed and on exhibit across my counter... Duh? I dunno. Anyway I got her to put my shit back, and calm down. And after a few minutes of us talking she was fine. She told me she had some stuff over at his (my shipmate) house and she wanted me to go get it for her. Wrong!!! I aint got shit to do with what him and her was going thru. I gotta work with him and I am dating her, I dont want to be in the middle like that. right? Anyway, she wasn't trying to hear that shit. Old gurl started showing her ass in the barbershop. FOR REAL!!! She had gotten me a new T.V. and a PS2 for my shop. Do you know this crazy bitch picked that shit up, went out the door and out onto the catwalk and tossed that shit off the boat!!! My mouth was hung wide open...***blink blink*** Then she started screaming about how she gonna get her a new man thats gonna take up for her, and do whatever she asks him to. so I told her, yeah you gonna need a new man if you think Imma do whatever you ask me to. Too bad though, cuz she shoulda kept that TV and shit to give to her new man lol... Im glad she paid for it herself lol. Anyway, I ran into her about a week later in the hangar bay with her "new man". Y'all... lemme tell you bout him... This dude was ashy, beedy beed hair, spit in the corner of his mouth with them crooked teeth, and to make it so bad, he had on money green contacts even though he was black as a purse!!! LMAO!!! I sure wasn't jealous of that pick ... He also had a smell, which we later found out came from the fact that he didnt use the showers, so damn! Oh well, I was single again. What the fuck... Imma just do me now is what I was thinking. So I did. And when I say I did me, I did me... I was all about self. I got my air and sea quals, I made rank, got a couple of nams, and was assigned to the ship's self defense force. (SSDF-4) I was on my grind. And I was leaving mother fuckers in my wake. I finished my lil pissy associates degree around that time too. But after doing all of this, I started to grow lonely. I had no one to share my success with. Plus I was still living with my mom. So I consorted with a couple of my ship mates about us getting a place together. All three of us were cool at work so we figured it would be cool for us to stay together too. One of them was a girl, and the other was a boy. She was a kind of ship slut and he was questionable, but I didn't care. I didnt have a reputation on the ship so it didnt make a difference who I lived with... At least thats what I thought. Y'all the events that followed after we moved in together will blow you f-ing minds!!! Imma tell y'all later tho. Bye... Comments please!!!

Oh I met this dude...

I last left off telling y'all how this newly single young man was finna break into the world and tear up some new ass right? Well, I was wrong. My lil whack ass ent to my new command and was quiet as a damn mouse for the first few weeks. I met some cool people, did some cool stuff. Blah blah blah. But it was on my first long term sea outting that I found some damn LIFE! There was this one guy, tall, dark skin dude from South America (Guyana) that used to always stop in my workspace and speak. I was a barber at my command, and this gentleman would contiuosly come in my shop and ask me to cut his hair. I would explain to him that I couldn't because I was exclusive to chiefs and officers only, and he was neither one so he had to go. But everyday it never failed. If he didnt come by, he called with the same line, "what you doing? you got a chair open so you can cut a brother down?" I started to find it kinda annoying after about 3 months of the same routine. He was really becoming a pest. One day he didnt call or come by, and I think I got the blues about it a little bit, but I swiftly dismissed that shit. Hell I wasn't gay. (please) Anyway, super bowl Sunday came around while we were sailing the deep blue sea. I was up in my shop just watching the game, all alone in the dark by myself. I was closed for business so I had my door blinds closed so nobody would come in. Next thing I know I hear "ding dong" as the door to the shop opens and that black ass face pops around talking bout, "what you doing? u got a chair open so you can cut a brother down?" I looked at him in disgust and said what happened to you the other day, and I honestly expected an answer. He laughed and came in and sat in my first chair, and I was sitting on the waiting couch. He asked me could he chill and watch the game with me, and I told him yes. We watched the game for a minute and he got up and said he would be back in a second. A few minutes later he comes back and hands me an ice cold Moutain Dew (my fav!! how he know?!?!) and two damn pieces of starburst... (i cant get a pack nigga damn) Anyway, I ate my candy and sipped n savored my drink. I noticed him out the corner of my eye watching me. Staring me down like a cat watchin a fly on the wall. So I stretched as I sat down. He then says, "you sleepy? you should stand up and stretch". I told him I was good. So then he leaned over and handed me two more candies and stood up and sat beside me on the couch kind close. Then he leaned all back and got comfy and shit. I had to sit up so he could spread the hell out on my damn couch. I had to close my legs and everything. So we watched some more of the game, and then I yawned again. "Stand up and stretch man" he says as he hands me two more candies. I was like "Im going to the bathroom real quick I will be back". So I stood up and stretched way high up in the sky... then i felt arms around my waist and lips on my lips.... I opened my eyes and was bout to start shittin kittens on the floor! Is this dude really grabbing me up and kissing me like this? Yeah he was. And why haven't I pushed him away? Next thing I know, my eyes were closed and my head was tilted and he had his tongue in my stomach... (gross) After all this, shirts start getting taken off, belts were jingling and pants were falling down. It was on baby. My first time tippin in the tulips... Am I ready? We will soon find out. We ended up naked and hard on a shiny cold floord. That shit was hot cuz we was sweating and sliding on that damn floor like two wet fish. I had never been so turned on before in my life, PLUS we were running the risk of being caught by anybody who wanted to poke their head in that unlocked door. (that made it extra hot) After kissing and being hard and turned on for a few minutes we all know what comes next. That grown up business, y'all know. Penetration, right? I was thinking to myself am I supposed to let him do me or should i do him. He started moving more into the position of him doing me and I didnt oppose... at first. The next move this dude mad let me know that he had an agenda the whole time. He reached for his pants and pulled out som KY Jelly. I was like this sorry ass man knew he was gonna get some snacks from me huh? Anyway he got back there and tried to go up in there and I was like HEY NOW DAMMIT! You gots ta quit and right now! He was like " i didnt even go in hardly". So I said it aint going down like this. I aint cut out for it. My lil boo boo was in flames just from him pressin on it tryin to get in there. So we switched up and I went into him and almost lost my mind. I always thought booty would feel different from girl stuff. But this was like some of the best sex I had ever had. i was shocked. It was then I knew that I would become a doo doo chaser. AND A TOP! After that night I walked around the ship nervous like everybody knew what i had done. But I shook it off after a while. Plus the phone calls had stopped for a while. The thrill was gone I guess. And plus I figured he had ran out of candy to pass me and butter me up lol... A few days go by and I get a call... from him...yesss! "Meet me down by the laundry fan room" he said. So I went. When i got there he had another soda and this time i got a whole pack of starburst! WHAT>>> upgrade!!! He told me to come in the fan room with him, and I did. We went in there and banged for a few hours. I know when we went in it was day light, and when we came out it was dinner time. mmm hmm. Energizer bunny. Dont get it twisted. Me and him continued this behavior for the duration of the time we were out to sea. We had one point where we had a lil disagreement cuz he came and asked me for some money to go to the casino while we were in P. Rico. what I look like? Anyway the day came when we had to pull back into port. Oh well... I hope this wasn't the end of our fling. I had caught big feelings for him and i cold say that I had love for him too. Luckily, he still wanted to see me. I went to his house and stayed night, we went to the movies, and dinner a lot. Then one day he called me and said he was getting stationed in Japan. JAPAN!!! Wait, what am I supposed to do now? He said he was leaving in a couple of days to go on leave and visit home, then he is heading out t Japan. I asked him to come see me before he left. That day he came by and I couldn't keep myself from crying. I finally said the "L" word to him that day. And he said it to me. Then he kissed me on the lips, and then he left. I never saw or heard from him again. It took me a long time to get over him, a few months to be exact. I cried at night and was depressed for a minute. Until the day that this girl came by twistin her booty and giving me the eye. Damn, she is hot I said. I think I was just horny. And next thing I know, Im back to square one all over again. I will tell y'all about that tomorrow.... I hope you are feeling my blogs so far. They only get better... Stay tuned to me and I wont let you down... I will holla lata!

In the beginning...

It all dates back to the year 2 thousand & friggin four. (thats 2004) I had had enough of the small time country life style I had been living. I had a hot girlfriend, we were happy, and I wanted money and travel time. So what I do? Joined the Navy!!! WOO!!! That was a decision that changed my whole life permanently. When I got to bootcamp things were good. BUT, I noticed myself watching the boys inthe showers... hmmmm. What is this feeling I'm feeling I asked myself. I dunno. Although I had experienced these urges to look at other men as a young boy, i never thought anything of it til i was seeing dudes out of their clothes. I never knew a man could have so much ass!!! Anyway, back to the story. At bootcamp I noticed a change in myself. I questioned the way I had been feeling for 19 years of my life. Am I gay Lord? I asked that question every night. And I would always say, "I aint gay, I dont be doing it to no dudes. I can't help these niggas got big asses. Any man would look. Right?" (I thought so) Plus, I had a girl, we were gonna move in together and start a family and get married. So I shook it off. Got through boot camp, had a few wet dreams and things were good. Life was ok! But it was after boot camp that things took a turn for me. I got assigned to my first command. Bought my first new car. And I went on my first leave. I was so excited to go home and be with my girl and share my stories with her and see how she was doing. All the letters and calls we had exchanged made me so anxious to see her. She was saved so we had never had sex. But while i was gone, we talked about how we were gonna rip eachother up on sight. And I was ready too. My manhood was on edge as soon as I pulled up to the house. So I walk in the house and everybody is there to greet me. Mom, my sister, my cousins, friends, and my girl... looking fine as hell. I did notice though she had gained a little bit of weight over the past few months while i was away. She also had some new rings on her hands. I shook it off though cause I was ready to beat... lol. So we went in my room to talk. She leans in and whispers, your mama spent all your money***(I will explain this later). I know I said. So She walks out and joins everybody else. Where is my sex, I start thinking. So I go back out front and sit with everyone else. Next thing I know, a horn sounds. She starts grabbing her purse and jacket and keys and bidding everyone adeu. I stood up and got a lil loud with her, cuz where da hell she going? And wit who?! I follow her outside questioning what was going on while she is just saying, please don't do this, i gotta go, please dont follow me. So I stop as she gets in the car, leans over and says hey baby and kisses the man who I later find out is her NEW HUBBY and BABY DADDY... WHAT THE HELL DID I MISS??? HUH? Nowhere in the letters did this guy get mentioned, no where in the phone calls did the new baby come up... What the hell do I do about this besides let her ass go with old boy. Oh well, another one bites the dust, meanwhile i ca go get some random booty from some other chick right? I was single again, like Trina. Aight den lets get it.

(To explain the *** from above, while I was away I was sending her money, to include a deposit and first month's rent on the apartment we were supposed to get together. I found out while I was gone that she never got the apartment and that she was going shopping with my money. And taking my sister and her friends out to eat... ON ME!!! SO I found out in a letter from an anonymous source (my mama) that she was livin foul with my money and that I should stop sending money home for her until I get back. So I had my moms withdraw all my money and hold on to it for me. That explains why she whispered that "your mama spent all your money" LOL.)

Ok this is my first real post people. I'm sure its kind dry for some of your tastes but keep reading, i promise the hottness for you. I guess you cam say Imma tell y'all all my damn business in a minute so WATCH OUT!!!